January of 2007

So much is happening. Time is moving so fast.

Hunter just turned One and is nearly walking.
Tyler is now 3 and so busy all the time! He is
so active and fun to be with.

I love talking to Jesse on line and on the phone.
She calls every day several times a day. She misses
us a lot I think. We miss her too. She is happy, that
is all that matters.

Jodee and Tyler came and spent 2 days with us just after
Christmas. Then I said I could watch Tyler a few days if
she and Jamie wanted some time together. He is SUCH a joy
to be with and I love him dearly. He kept saying, Do you
like me? You are my best friend, Hug me! Hold me! I have
so much time that it does my heart good to do just that!
Sometimes I did not take the time with my girls to just
sit and be with them. Aaaah regrets! I have few, but that
is one of them. That and words used in anger and frustration.
I hope I did not hurt them or change them too much. Words are
more harmful than hitting in that they can never be healed.
I think now looking back at my Life that I was like Tyler.
I needed extra comfort and love and hugging and holding.
Mom was working out side the home and giving her Love to
the other children in her classes as a teacher. I was always
wanting her to be that way with me, and she was always too
tired.

Now I realize being on the other side how that is not true.
Lives get busy. It does not mean we love each other less.
It just means we are busy. I thank God that I can stay home
and be with myself to learn more about me and what I am made
of and where I am supposed to go now. Maybe I am not supposed
to go anywhere. Maybe I am already there?

Thank you kind Spirit for giving me this knowledge and allowing
me to be grateful for the many blessings in my Life. Thank you
to the Doctors for helping me heal my physical pains. Also
thank you Spirit for giving me the courage to start making my
Body all that it was meant to be. Thank you for giving me the
courage to say no to the abuse I was doing to me by eating
and eating and then eating some more. Thank you for helping me
climb out from under that fat in time. Who knows how long I
would have lived had I not begun this journey.

We had a storm a few days ago. Jodee and Jetty got about 6 inches
of snow out that way. I think we got 3 or 4 here, some of which
has melted already. We stayed in on New Years Eve. We nearly
always do. If we go out, it is just somewhere to eat. Someday
I would love to go Dancing again, but have not asked Larry yet.
My days of Dancing with the Stars are over I fear. That said,
I am NOT giving up on that Dream. Nor the one of Singing. I now
do both here in my own home just plain enjoying and finding joy
in Life. I played Christmas music from the day after Thanksgiving
until the day after Christmas. Heck, I may still play it if the
mood hits me.

I am going to do my best not to get depressed after the Holidays
like a lot of folks do. Last year I did for about 3 weeks, then got
a hold of myself and shook it off. Life was good all year. Did not
have too many hard times. The problems I have had with my health
have been taken care of with changes in medicines. I now take 7
pills a day. I caught up with my Dad in only 2 years! I never
was the kind who wanted to rely on meds, but sometimes they
are needed.

Tomorrow I hope to get outside and get some walking done
in the fresh air. Even if it is for a few blocks, I will
do so. I need that fresh air and I am glad I live where
there is not a lot of pollution. Not yet. They are building
hog confinments closer all the time. When will people wake
up? When we have no water left?

Enough of that.

I will end this here. It was good to get back to blogging
again. I have not been doing much of it recently. I missed
it and will do my best not to wait so long before I write
again. Life is so busy, but it has become important to
me to put words to paper. It is nice to come back to and
read them again. They inspire me even if no one else ever
reads them!

Hang in there, YOU ARE Worthy!
Katie